"Why?" I reply.
"Because Berta* pushed me in the bus line" Caitlin states.
I probe deeper. She didn't tell a teacher nor did one notice. Caitlin never told me why she thought Berta pushed her. Not that it really matters. This is not our first run in with Berta.
The first couple weeks of school, Caitlin desperately wanted to sit with Berta on the bus. Berta would tell her "No but maybe tomorrow." Caitlin would come off the bus crying. We talked to her and encouraged her to sit with other kids. For whatever reason, she really wanted to be friends with this kid. Caitlin eventually got over sitting with Berta but I would hear stories in which Berta would be mean to her. I really started to dislike her. I felt bad that I disliked her since she is only 5 years old but I couldn't help it.
When Berta pushed Caitlin, I shared the story with another mom at gymnastics class without using Berta's name. She guessed that it was Berta. It turns out her daughter loves Berta and Berta is not very nice to her either. She also shared that another girl in their class has had run ins with her. Berta told her that her clothes are "not very nice."
Initially, I thought Berta just didn't like Caitlin but I have come to believe that Berta is a kindergarten bully. I never realized that bullying could start in kindergarten. Berta is a mean girl already.
I can't figure out why the girls want to be friends with this kids since she is mean to everyone but they all want to be her friend. Thankfully, Caitlin no longer wants to be her friend.
She'll always be my baby.*Berta is not her real name. It just fits the image of a bully. She actually is a very pretty but mean little girl.
17 comments:
Ugh. It stinks that there are mean girls already in her life. It seems too early but I believe it. It's baffling that bullies have this magnetic attraction to them. You are doing a great job and instilling great values in her.
PS: My friend recommends Queen Bees & Wannabes to read. Her daughter is in 5th grade and it has helped her understand the "girl world".
It's amazing how early the bullying and peer pressure start. And why do the bully's always seem to be the ones that everyone wants to be friends with? I don't get it.
Sounds like you're doing a good job helping her understand that this girl isn't worth being friends with. I hope the bullying doesn't continue.
Oh my goodness. I have had to deal with similar things with my son that is in kindergarten. As a mom it just makes your heart ache for the situation. I just want to take over and make everything ok-- but know that this is something that (with my guidance) they need to work through.
It is so hard though isn't it?
How awful! That just BURNS me! Kids are constantly seeking approval from their parents and their peers, including mean ones. Teach your child that some times there are mean people in the world and the best thing to do is seek out people who love us for who we are.
I just had a similar conversation with Allana about a bully at school. Your story has inspired me to write a blog post about it. :-)
BTW...That's a beautiful of your little girl.
Kids are very complex, it may be that Berta is jealous of the kids she is being mean to, and maybe, she doesn't realise she is being mean, maybe she is acting out what she is experiencing herself from home with siblings or kids from her neighbourhood.
I understand it is hard trying to put yourself into your own childs shoes but also that of the other child as things are often a lot more complex than initially seems obvious. Perhaps you could find out who the parents are and see if they seem approachable?
That breaks my heart!
(LOVE your disclaimer.)
I'll bet you anything that her parents bully her at home. So sad that it's starting so early.
So sad about being bullied, but lovely photo.
That's so heartbreaking! I teach fourth grade, and it always amazes me when kids who are being bullied want to be friends with the bully. All you can do is give your daughter the social skills to handle those situations. So sorry!
So sad that one that young is already a bully. She must be learning the behavior somewhere for her to turn it on other kids.
It is crazy there are already mean girls in kindergarten! How sad is that. :(
Aw, your poor little girl! I sure hope that this "Berta" character is dealt with by the school. Bullying should never be tolerated! :(
Oh and by the way...my Mom's name is Berta. She's not a bully. lol
Bullies are so tough to deal with! Good luck!! Thanks for your kind words at my blog today.
I seriously think you need to have a little one-on-one with Bertha.
But I have to say, that's what you get when you name your child Bertha. She grows up to bully people. My childhood bully was named Gertrude...right! Right! You see the link!
That's too bad. I too can't imagine my kiddos having to deal with bullys. It's just a sickening feeling. I'm sad really that Berta is so mean to so many.
I was bullied all through grade school and it was terrible. I hope your little girl does a better job of sticking up for herself than I did. The bullying stopped when my dad started a new job and we moved to different town. I ended up being fairly popular in middle and high school. My mom couldn't believe the little girl who hid behind the couch in the mornings would turn out to be well liked and popular! lol
Carrielt
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