The back handed compliment is worse than no compliment. I had a guy friend in high school that couldn't seem to get his foot out of his mouth. He would say things like, "You look really good...TODAY." I'm not sure if he really realized he was insulting you at the same time as giving the compliment till it was too late. He always fumbled a little and tried to clarify what he meant. I tried not to take offense because I really chose to believe that he didn't mean it.
The other week I invited a mom to get to the park with the kids. We were suppose to have a play date but the host canceled due to illness. When I invited her, she asked who else was going. When I told her it was just us, she said that her youngest would be napping. So why did you ask who else was going? Would she have said yes if someone else was going?
So what does the back handed compliment have to do with the park play date situation? I hate feeling paranoid. It feels like high school where I was always second guessing myself. Does he/she really like me? I wish I could just let the little comments go. I wish I could just believe my friend's daughter was napping and it just wasn't that I wasn't good enough to make the trip.
Feel free to comment on this post, share what's ticking you off, and/or leave a link to your ticked off post. Happy Ticked Off Tuesday.
9 comments:
Oh that would infuriate me! Although I'd probably not be able to resist the impulse to actually SAY to her what you were thinking.
Today my husband is ticking me off. Like most days.
I hate this! I always get, "You look so good for having twins!" OR "You are so skinny for having had twins!" What? So having twins lowers the bar for what constitutes looking good or being thin?
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You're always good enough to make the trip in my book!
I do the same thing and my husband says I read too much into things. Hate to admit it but he's usually right when it comes down to these things.
That is infuriating. I would have reacted the same way. I'm sorry you had that experience.
It's not you, it's her. Some people just do that, who knows why?! My grandmother used to say "you look quite nice" that always bugged me too!
Well if I may add this perspective:
Very often in life we want to be validated, we want people to like us, we want to know there is nothing "wrong". But these are all the voices of the little us within, not the grand version of our highest self.
In the end, it doesn't matter what others want to say, think or do. Our reaction makes their comments "bad" or "good". You don't have to believe that the little one is napping and you don't have to believe that they aren't.
At the end of the day, simply connect to the peace within you for that is what will make you feel great, no matter what situation, comment or person life throws your way.
Hope this helps a little :)
Okay, that just sucks! Plain and simple.
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