The Best Gift

My mom didn't buy us a crib when we had our daughter but she did give us the best gift. My mom took off 2 weeks of unpaid leave to come over our house everyday to help me adjust to having a newborn. I know for some people the thought of having their mom come over every day for 2 weeks is horrifying. I was a little unsure if it really was necessary. I ended up having a C-section so physically her help was valuable.

Mom cleaned my house, did my laundry, washed my window, and burped and changed the baby among so many other chores. She kept me company. She shared stories about my birth and my brother's. She reassured me that being scared is normal. She let me know that it would get better. She held me like a baby when the overwhelming sadness and hormonal changes got to be too much. While she kept herself busy cleaning during her visits, she did hold her first granddaughter and fall in love with her. She didn't just do the fun stuff though. She did it all. I am so grateful that she took the time to help me get use to being a mom. She never criticized how I was doing anything. She told me that she is proud of me and how I cared for Caitlin. The gift of her time was way better than the most expensive baby gear gift.

It is the season for gift giving, and Parent Blogger Network asked, "What makes a gift memorable?"
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Housework makes me hot!

Let's get one thing straight. I don't get hot by doing the housework but there is something sexy about Dave vacuuming. Push it, push real good. Hee hee. OK I don't really get hot but I find when he helps out I appreciate his help and I am more likely to get into the mood. For one I'm not dead tired. I always joke that it makes me hot to see him wash the dishes. Men are always wondering what to do to get their women in the mood. My suggestion is clean the house, do the laundry, and put your dishes in the dishwasher. Oh yeah baby, and do it all without being asked. Dave has caught on to this strategy and cooked three meals on Sunday. Talk about hot. Email this to your significant other or leave the page up on the computer. I hope they take the hint.

Feeling Lucky

I'll set the scene for you. Caitlin is wearing her helmet and is strapped into her tricycle in our living room. She is pushing the tricycle back and forth with the petals. She occasionally yells she is stuck after strapping herself into the seat. David is jumping frantically up and down in his jumperoo. Dave and I are sitting on the couch drinking tea watching our off spring acting a little crazy. I feel so lucky and thankful to have such a great family.

Six months ago when David first joined our family I wasn't sure I ever was going to be able to sit and relax. Things were so overwhelming. I wondered how I could have made such a horrible mistake by deciding to have another child. (David was in no way a mistake. He was planned and am grateful for having such a sweet and healthy child.) I am so glad I have the kids I have. I love all their crazy quirks. We still have bad days but things are getting easier each day.

And I don't want to hear anyone tell me that if you think 2 year olds are tough then wait till they are 3 years old. That is just not nice people.

Selective Hearing

Why is it that husbands have selective hearing? Sometimes he doesn't hear when I ask him to take out the trash, sometimes he doesn't hear when I tell him an anecdote from my day but if I say "Let's fool around" his hearing is perfect.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone had a great day.

My least favorite Caitlin phrases

I remember looking forward to Caitlin talking. I fondly remember repeating the words “Mama” and “Dada” over and over again to help her learn. Caitlin speaks really well now. She can usually express her wants and needs fairly well. That being said some of her talking is getting down right annoying. It almost makes me long for the time when she was non-verbal. Here are some examples:

“I don’t want to”- She has been saying this for the last 3 days constantly. She says this even if she does want something. She says she doesn’t and then 30 seconds later asks for the object she desires.

“Why?”-Caitlin has started to say this all the time too. I know it is her way of starting conversations but it can get a big irritating after the 20th “why?”

The repetition of any phase after the 20^th time- An example of this was the other weekend at my parents’ house. Caitlin wanted to see what was in my mom’s sewing room. My mom said she couldn’t go in the room because it was messy and she needed to clean the room. Caitlin then repeated “The room is messy. Nanny needs to clean room.” My parents thought it was so cute at first but after the 50 times that visit I think they got a glimpse of my days and it lost its cuteness when she wouldn’t stop.

I could make a list of all the cute things she says too. I love the moppet. I’m just venting. Anyone else get irritated by their talking toddlers?

S-E-X

Alright here I go, the first post about s-e-x. Dave even encouraged me to write about sex. I warned him that he might not like what I wrote. I guess I want to write about how sex has changed since having kids. There are things that no one warned me about. I hope I don't scare my readers without kids.

First no one told me that when you breastfeed that the child will steal all your moisture. This makes having sex impossible or at least not comfortable or enjoyable. My ob/gyn said at my 6 week appointment that the skin in the va-jay-jay (not the word he used thankfully) has the consistency of a menopausal woman. Great more stuff to look forward to about getting older.

Second you will be so tired with a new baby not sleeping that you won't want to have sex anyway but that does not mean that your well rested spouse will feel the same. The spouse had a hard time understanding Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I needed my basic needs ie sleep met before I could want sex. Thankfully this period does not last forever. It just seems like it.

Third when you finally want sex or at least sexual activity you will have to be quick about it. Sleeping babies seem to sense when their parents are having "fun". So you will have "fun" with a time limit. Plan on having only 10 minutes and hope for more.

Forth you probably won't need birth control if you breastfeed. Why you ask? Yes I know you can get pregnant while breastfeeding but that would require having sexual intercourse. David is 6 months old, I haven't needed birth control yet.

Potty Envy

I have some serious potty envy. Every time I hear about another child Caitlin's age have potty success, I want to scream, "Why, oh why can't it be Caitlin?" Caitlin is just 2 1/2 years old. I know that it is not out of the norm for kids her age to still use diapers. It is just so darn frustrating when you know she needs to go and just plain out refuses. She wakes from naps dry a lot. I think this is the perfect time to sit her on the potty because she must have to go. Alas Caitlin is not a happy waker. She cries at the mere suggestion of it. So do I sit her on the potty despite her crying? I haven't yet. They (doctors, mothers of potty trained toddlers, etc.) say not to push them and they will train when they are ready. What if they never are ready? Will Caitlin go to school with diapers on? Or worst will she not get to go to preschool next year and I will not get any break during the day? The thought is too dreary to comprehend.

Edited to add: Caitlin must have sensed I was writing about her and potty training. At pre-school class today she asked to use the potty and actually used it. So maybe we are moving in the right direction.

What do you say?

I just talked to a friend who is 30 weeks pregnant and on bed rest for bleeding. I feel like a total idiot. I didn't know what to say. Of course I asked how she was and if I could do anything. She asked about the kids. I started complaining about their colds. How dumb is that! This woman is praying to keep her baby in her womb a little longer and I'm complaining over simple colds. I think the problem is I want to be able to do something for her but I can't figure out what to do. She is on bed rest for a couple more weeks at least. What do you do for a woman in this situation?

PS She is out of state so I can't visit in person.

Sick Kids

Is it OK to say I don't like sick kids? Both my 6 month old and 2 year old are sick. They have a nasty cold with runny noses and coughs. The 6 month old also has been throwing up a lot. Don't worry I took the 6 month old to the doctors. He is fine. We are laying off the cereal until his other symptoms go away. We can't tell if he has an allergy or if it is a virus. He stopped vomiting since we stopped cereal, which is a relief. He didn't seem to be holding anything down. David just wants to be held, which is giving me quite a workout. He is a feeding away from being 20lbs. Caitlin is a TV zombie. I just can't handle the whining that occurs without her dose of Caillou and The Wonder Pets. I figure it is OK since she is sick and hours of TV are not a usual thing for her.

Caitlin's cold seems to be getting better. I was at my breaking point yesterday. I had David on my hip and Caitlin was attached to my ankles and yelling that "I want something else." What was the something else she wanted you may ask. I wish I knew. After we played the guessing game...Do you want goldfish, do you want an apple...It seemed she wanted some grapes. I washed them and put them in a bowl. She threw herself to the ground and screamed "No, no no. I don't want grapes." See why I was at my limit. This was all day yesterday. Ughh. I hope today is going to be better. It already seems to be since David slept through the night and Caitlin seems tolerable.

About Me

* I am a former Health and Physical Education teacher. I taught middle school health classes before I became a stay at home mother. When I started teaching the puberty unit to 6th graders it use to make me squirm, but after the first couple times it just make the kids squirm. It was kind of fun to watch.

* I love exercising. I love the challenge of pushing myself to the next level.

* I also love watching really bad reality tv shows.

* I am the mom of two wonderfully challenging children. They challenge patience daily. But I still love staying home most days.

* I am married to my college sweetheart. Dating him was the best decision I've ever made.

Secret Mom Thoughts

Meg and I were best friends in high school. We did everything together. We sang Tori Amos' songs in the bathroom while dyeing each other's hair. We talked about everything from giving our first blow jobs to our first heart break. We had the best summer before we went to college. We both had 9 to 5 Monday through Friday jobs. We spent the weekends at the beach and driving the main strip in our town looking for the cute boys we liked. I remember when we left for college. I knew I was going to miss Meg so much. I remember being rather melodramatic and saying "Nothing is ever going to be the same." Some things did change of course. Some things did stay the same. Meg is one of the only people that I can tell anything. Meg is one of the few people I'm going to share this secret blog.

I have another family blog. It has lots pictures of the kids. It is a way to update long distant family and friends. Since everyone reads the blog including my 80 year Nana, I feel I must censor myself. I could never talk about s-e-x or some of the less pleasant aspects of motherhood. I want to write this blog uncensored. I want to be able to bitch about my dear husband's inability to put dishes in the dishwasher. I want to talk about the frustrating parts of motherhood. I want to talk about friendships and how they change. I want to write about whatever I want.

I hope you like reading this blog and come back to read it again soon.